4/18/18 -- 2:49 PM
Last night I went on a drunk walk around campus. It was pretty nice. Kind of
chilly, very quiet.
Cut through Kennedy's apartment building to get back to campus faster. I think I
heard her laugh.
Died a little on the inside.
So I guess you could say I'm doing okay.
Not certain what I'm doing with myself.
Do I have any goals? What am I looking for?
What do I need? What do I want?
I used to think the answer to all these questions was happiness. But I'm not
sure how to find that.
Can I have a backup?
Relationships always filled my time when I was younger. Now I don't have one, I
see how much I built my life around an intimate relationship. Now that they're
gone, I see that I have nothing to fall back on.
I should pick up some sort of hobby. Start studying Russian and maths again.
Deconstructing philosophical arguments.
Relive college?
Hmm.
Maybge I should find something different?
I'm not sure what I like to do.
Does that yet again go back to the fact that I've built my entire life up
around having a partner? Have I neglected myself? Do I have an identity?
Am I a person
Or just a shell?
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