10/2/18 -- 7:23 PM
Long time no write.
My birthday is coming up. McKenzie and I are going to Chicago. It's going to be
incredible. She's amazing. She makes me want to be better. She makes me better.
I honestly dont' know what I would be doing without her. She's changed this
entire year for me. I'm trying to do everything I can to stay with her, which
seems crazy to me. I've never felt so committed to someone so quickly.
Just been thinking a lot about stuff like this, I guess.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
McKenzie,
You asked me a couple of really good questions and I wasn't so sure how
to answer them when you asked. Well, that's not entirely true; I was also
terrified of answering them. The questions you asked make me think, however,
that we're struggling with the same sorts of anxieties, and I think that,
together, we can alleviate them.
The truth is, very rarely have I had the pleasure of knowing someone like
you. I don't like comparing people because everyone is unique and you are your
own separate person and I very much know that, but your intelligence,
prescience, wit, and candor all remind me of a very old friend I had. But you're
so unique! Maybe it's your Minnesota heritage but there's something special
about you - I just can't place it.
You asked me what makes me happy. On the face of it, there isn't much. I've
always just wanted simple, easy happiness out of life, but something has always
seemed to go wrong at just the right time to make it so that whenever somebody
asks me how I am, I always want to say "I'm happy, but...". And I want to get
rid of that caveat. Honestly, since meeting you that 'but' has gotten smaller
and smaller. There's something about the way you are that makes me want to be
better, to be stronger, to be happier. And maybe that's why everytime I look at
you I smile. Not because you make me happy, but because you make _me_ make me
happy. And that you do that means so much to me. For all those reasons (and
probably more), I have been so caught up in just being with you that, until
recently, I had put off to the wayside questions about us. What are we to each
other, are we together, what does that mean, what are we doing, what are our
goals, do we have a long term plan, do we _need_ a long term plan, what kind of
commitment is this, etc etc.
All very scary questions.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
________________________________________________________________________________
Dilyn Corner (C) 2020-2026